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Balancing Your Exposure to People Who Hate You

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Most people liked you when you were a kid. But their numbers gradually dwindled as you grew up and grew old (although I always say, never catch yourself growing old). You began to have detractors, bashers, critics and haters.

Detractors are those who look down on you. Bashers are those threatened by you, for whatever reason. Critics are fond of watching out for your mistakes. Haters, for some reason you can't understand, hate you. These horde of tormentors multiply gradually around you and are just happy to see you fall. They're everywhere and pop up like mushrooms after thunderstorms.

For wellness' sake (because this blog, Choy's Cut, is mostly about wellness), you'd do well to avoid them at all cost---if that were possible. But life and maturity is about balancing things. You cannot get rid of your tormentors and still come out a normal guy. I believe positives and negatives are put there by God for a purpose. Nothing in life is an accident.

So, you have to expose yourself now and then to the tormentors God allows in your life. What are they for? Well, to make you wiser and smarter (wiser is so you know how to gain from your experience and smarter is so you can make a silly fool of your tormentors. Both are designed to make you totally unaffected by torments some day).

But God gives you full control. What exposure you get from tormentors is all up to you. God gave us all the option and skill to "escape," says 1 Corinthians 10.13. "God will also provide a way out (or escape) so that you can endure it." So, if you continue to suffer from your oppressors, it's all your fault. Ask God for a way out (although I'm sure he has already provided for it, even before the creation of the universe).

But don't eliminate them altogether. Ugly as it sounds, you need your tormentors. You become street-smart the more you learn how to deal intellectually with them---making them your "victims" or "subjects" instead. And then you understand more of life---especially why God allows cruel people on earth, and even in church.

You don't need to suffer more than your share of it. Anyway, you don't need tormentors. You can live well even if they disintegrate 😄. Sometimes, when you're trapped by their schemes and guilt-attacks, they control you and make you think you can't live without them. Their tricky talks make you feel indebted. Get out of that spell. Don't let them do that.

Instead, turn the tables around and make them your subjects and "victims." When I say victims, I don't mean harm. But you know how victims are---they become so dependent on their tormentors, like what Dracula does to his victims. See what I mean?

The truth about it all is that, your tormentors cannot live without you. Hence, they need to enslave you. Any effort you make at freeing yourself is disdainful to them. They'd exploit your guilt and tell you how you're beginning to be proud and overconfident. But that's all just garbage talk. It's plain bewitching.

As you are exposed to these people and learn how their minds work, how they feel and what their weaknesses are, you wisen and smarten up. You level up in authority and gain power---not to have vengeance but to regain control of your life and protect yourself and loved ones. You're like the Lord Jesus who remains meek, simple and low profile and yet have tremendous authority to order little demons around with a mere gesture or word.

Do you like that? If you do, learn to balance your exposure to people who hate you and make the most of it. They say life would be gloomy without your tormentors or "masters." Don't be afraid to break away from them and live alone. You may be lonely for a while, but loneliness is for a reason. By the way, this ebook might help you. Check it out here. 

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