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Do You Know What Really Makes You Happy? Or Are You Just Riding on Other's Happiness?

Miami University
It's so much fun enjoying common interests with your peer group or family, especially enjoying escapades or "gimik" with the company of your friends. Your "tropa" as they say today. But sometimes, these serve as mere temporary cover-ups for loneliness. A lot of people are really lonely individuals deep inside as they celebrate with friends.

They try to identify with other's happiness. They adjust their emotional preferences to fit the prevailing mood of their peer group, as well as the group's choice of fun, so they can "belong" and somehow reap some benefits of the fun and feel "happy"---even if said "fun" is not really exactly their idea of fun. Eventually, they begin to adapt and actually enjoy the fun, though artificially. Sometimes, they also begin to believe they actually love the fun they are doing.

But the problem comes when peer group fun is gone and the individual is left by himself. The loneliness within resumes and depression reigns anew. Loneliness and depression are like shadows that automatically come when the lights are put out. So what this individual does is to keep attaching himself with his peer group, always looking forward to being in their company again for some artificial fun, willingly losing himself in them so he can momentarily forget about realities in his life.

Often, this is the case with couples who are no longer happy with each other and try to forget the unhappy relationship by seeking other people's company to find artificial happiness there. Or, a lonely and depressed guy who suddenly discovers church and is welcomed there and given important roles in the same.

But once they're out of the artificial happiness, they remain depressed. Thus, the artificial fun or happiness becomes an opiate. They become addicted to it. Artificial happiness cures or heals nothing. It's just an addiction that worsens a person's loneliness and depression, often making them emotional and mental strongholds in an individual and negatively affecting his character.

Worse, the individual loses his identity and doesn't know what he really wants in life. He doesn't know what really makes him happy. And lots of people live their entire lives this way, dying without knowing the truth about themselves and not realizing their real potentials. All their lives they just became copies of people whose happiness they've been riding on.

Honestly, are you happy even if you're alone? Are you content and happy with your spouse? Is God's company really enough for you (or is this just your favorite "slogan" when you feel religious?). Can you easily shift from sad to happy or do you always need friends to make this happen? Can you easily turn sadness into laughter like my friend can? Read about it here.

How do you know your happiness is just "borrowed" from other people?

1. You feel lonely and depressed again when separated from your friends.
2. You find it impossible to be happy alone.
3. Your peer group dictates what is and isn't "happy."
4. You are bound to your peer group standards and you never develop as an individual.
5. You fear being different or offending to your group.

We are designed to fellowship with other people, but we are also designed to develop as individuals. And anyway, peer-pressure dictating what your thoughts and emotions should be is not fellowship. It is slavery. And slaves can never achieve true happiness in life. Their only use is to make the emperor happy.

True happiness is only achieved if you know what you really want, make certain God's Word in the bible supports it, and make it happen in your life. You can only be truly happy with other people if you are genuinely happy within, whether alone or in a group.

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