Topu and Fork and Other Similar Diches

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I know you enjoy tofu and pork dishes as I do (impossible not to), and they're among my favorite snacks, by the way, especially when cooked with my deep-secret seasonings. My friend told me her secret is to splash some Worcestershire sauce while the tofu or pork is simmering. Some say it's the Chinese cooking wine that makes the difference. Whatever.

Anyway, some people stubbornly insist topu and fork (that's how they pronounce it) are best cooked with black beans and soy bean cake or fermented tofu (or what we locally call tahure). And the same goes for other similar diches. Diches? That's what they say, "diches." I'm familiar with ditches, the kind that road repair companies (and Maynilad) are fond of making come rainy season, but diches? What on earth are they?

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And topu and fork--I didn't know some people cooked fork for dinner--are best mixed together with soy sauce and vinegar (tapso me sili). I mean, tofu and PORK. Not even zombies would eat FORK. But that was how my friend, Boy Ingglesero or Boy I, put it--topu and fork and other similar diches. Well, the hint to breaking his hieroglyphical speech may be found in how he spelled "packs" as "fax" when he once ordered some boxes of our supplement juice through DM.

I asked our secretary if Boy I was saying bad words, but the secretary assured me he wasn't. Just a case of "diatribal" error, she said, and then laughed diabolically. How can anyone misspell tofu and pork? After sampling a rice soup side-dish of fried-to-a-crisp tofu cubes and boiled pork, all splashed with a measure of squeezed lemon and soy sauce plus chopped siling haba, you can never misspell tofu and pork again! I mean, the mouthwatering memory will stick to your mind like how tofu sticks to the pan with less oil.

It's tofu and pork or pork and tofu, got it? And everything is delicious with any recipe including, but not limited to, tofu and pork, and similar dishes as well. Not similar diches, but similar dishes. Like pork and tofu adobo dish. Have you tried that? In high school, after a bout of boxing, my huge Chinese classmate invited me for lunch and offered me Tofu and Pork Adobo which tasted like barbecue! It made us forget the punches we took.

Well, going back to this hieroglyphical Boy I, some people can say one thing and mean another. Or, they may say one thing and other guys may take it to have other meanings, simply because of the way they misspell or mispronounce words. Communication takes accuracy to consummate. That's why God was specific and clear about what he said in the bible--and I can imagine how resonant his voice must have been and how perfect his diction.

Inaccurate communication cannot accomplish anything right, and it's like mixing topu and fork into similar diches that end up in the trash instead of the dinner table. You cannot be lousy with how you "pronounce" the Word of God in your life and expect your words to be served in God's feast. So, better practice saying "tofu" and "pork" from now on. The same with other similar "dishes." If you cannot pronounce it, I wonder how you can cook it.

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