Why Hostile People Would Suddenly Want Talk to Us

To be sure, there are a lot of reasons why people would suddenly approach you when they very seldom did before--worse, who obviously hated you. But I thought of 5 which I think are foremost reasons, especially in these days when more people are growing too cagey about opening themselves up even to friends and acquaintances. 

Photo by Antenna on Unsplash.

1. Ulterior motives. Being a little bit cagey myself 😂, the first idea I thought of was ulterior motives. I guess in general, we all find it suspicious that someone aloof would suddenly want to see and talk to us. The question that floats around in mind is, "WHY?" Ulterior motive is a dominant, secret and urgent need that necessitates a ceasefire on your part (you lay down your arms) so you could cross the boundary line and initiate peace talks with the enemy. Only, the "enemy" is often unaware that he or she is your enemy. 

Well, sometimes it's not about getting across enemy lines to get the enemy's favor temporarily. Sometimes it's about soliciting approval or benefit from someone you're not particularly close to. That's all. But the point remains that the person suddenly becomes amiable and there's a needed favor behind it. You're the link to their opportunity.

2. Confirming a gossip. A nosy person may not want any favor except to get some story. That's all. This is especially so if he thinks you know something about the matter but are usually too quiet about sensitive things. So the person, contrary to his usual nature, approaches you and acts like he really likes you and sneaks into your privacy to get the story straight from the horse's mouth. This is often done with a peace or flattering offering (or bribe), like a treat to Starbucks for Americana or cappuccino, or hot coffee or chocolate with blueberry Danish bread at French Baker. Obviously my favorites 😁.

3. You're a bridge. You're seen as a link or connection to their objective, like a person of value to them who happens to be your friend. You know someone who's the answer to their prayers. In high school and college, I was often the bridge to someone's crush or puppy love because most of my female friends then were pretty. Or, you know someone well positioned in a company or establishment and they need you as a conduit to connect with that person for employment purposes. 

4. No one else to talk to. When someone's in a party or gathering and knows no one there and feels awkward about it---and suddenly sees you and approaches (though he doesn't like you)---chances are, you will be some sort of good news, not because he likes you, but to save his face. Guys like this are most uncomfortable in places where's they're a stranger or not popular or the center of attraction. So they look for an audience, hoping you're one. They're not really interested about you but they hope you'd be interested about them. And when they have gathered enough people around them or seen others they know, you're quickly trashed aside as persona non grata.

5. A changed person. In few instances, someone not close to you would gladly approach when they see you and warmly talk with you, often genuinely interested about what's happened so far with your life. This is because they've changed significantly, learned a lot in life through the years, and matured. This is the "seed" that fell on the ground, died, popped up anew, sprouted, grew, blossomed, flourished and fruited. 

Very few people would treat you as the number 5 guy (the changed person) would, especially if they imagine they have become great and successful. 

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