Ebbing with Age: Why Some People Learn Nothing from Life

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Sadly, a lot of people ebb with age, or suffer stunted maturity. Tumatanda ng pa-urong, or old age in reverse. Yeah, I use "suffer" because anything good meant for you but which you don't enjoy makes you suffer. It confines you to a small corner of life and that's so much punishment, considering life's vast possibilities.

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So, why do some people remain childish even through old age? Psychology has a lot to say about this, but I'm not a psychologist and I believe my expertise is the practical application of bible truth to real life. Nonetheless, lets see what Psychology has to say.

Emotions Gone Haywire

Immaturity, says the American Psychology Association, is when emotions get the better of good judgment. And its self-centered emotions at that. The self simply wants to boast and prove its worth. It cannot contain the urge and more often that not explodes into massive showing off. It's...

“...a tendency to express emotions without restraint or disproportionately to the situation.” 

Source 

There are times we need to explain a little bit about who we are to people, but when we just keep talking about ourselves or pushing our opinions on others--especially in a way that treats them as unimportant, lesser creatures--we self-express "disproportionately." Emotional maturity, on the other hand is:

“...a high and appropriate level of emotional control and expression.”

Notice that when talking of maturity, psychologists often refer to emotions, not so much the intellect, because it has little to do with it, though the mind and emotions are closely connected. If you got confused there, just ask a psychologist. Now let's see what the bible says.

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EGO

The bible also says a lot about immaturity, or why certain people remain childish, and on top of the list is EGO. In fact, you may say that everything about immaturity revolves around it, the solid center or foundation. The need to prove your worth and get things your way makes you cling to childishness. As you age your emotional and mental growth ebb. 

You want to be great, if not the greatest.

Ego has a lot to do with passion. Passion for self, specifically. In fact, passion, if it's not for godly reasons, is delicious food for the ego. You want nothing else, especially things that have nothing to do with your ego. You stop seeing reality and that keeps you from learning life lessons. Stunts your growth. You trust your own perception alone and rely on your own understanding. 

This is why, for instance, some seniors refuse to have medical checkups, believing that they're not sick of anything. Anyway, they feel strong and healthy. They feel that checkups are for the weak and sickly, which they are not. They can never be weak. Succumbing to checkups or seeing the doctor is a total failure to them. 

This is also why I've seen old people assert their rights as seniors and impose them on others. For instance, they feel they can lecture to anyone, anytime, anywhere, dictating what is right and wrong, arguing that life was much better in their time than now, etc. Yup, they have this need to argue about everything and assert themselves. Often, as well, arguments flare up due to rivalry or competition, proving who's better or smarter.

This should help us enrich our maturity and keep us wisely quiet most times:

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others better than yourselves. [Philippians 2.3]

Jesus modelled meekness by declaring the Father to be better than him, though they were equal. I wish I'd see this attitude among believers, especially pastors, particularly in casual conversations. Also in the corporate world. God's Word is the authority in all matters in life. If you want career development, you need career maturity. You need Jesus' meekness.

If you loved me, you would be glad that I am going to the Father, for the Father is greater than I. [John 14.28]

I just wonder how pastors would feel if many of their members transferred to another local church or Christian denomination. Would they feel as Jesus did with the Father? Would they say, "Yup, you're better off there because that pastor is better than me. Their denomination is better than ours."

You see, because we're all one body in Christ, lifting up another church or denomination means lifting up yourself. If one part suffers, all suffer. If one part is promoted, we're all promoted. See? 

Desire

Closely connected to the ego is covetousness. You want more than enough--it's that simple. If you're like this, your emotions are deteriorating with age. Instead of wising up, you become more narrow-minded. You think the universe revolves around you. You end up like a spoiled brat instead of a wise, broad-minded, patient old man. 

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. [James 4.1-3]

Remember, patience and maturity are close relatives.

Knowing this, that the trying of your faith works patience. 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire (mature), wanting nothing. [James 1.3-4]

Wanting nothing! That's maturity. 

Ego loathes patience and feeds on desire and self-passion. Ego feels that patience is just a waste of time. It needs to be glorified as soon as possible, if not right now. So there's "war within you," says James. "So you murder," and "you fight and quarrel." Desire births carnal urgency and argues a lot for its gratification till it wins and have its own way. That's self-passion. 

So What's the Right Way of Aging?

What's maturity then? It's everything Jesus is. It's wanting nothing. If the Lord is your Shepherd, you shall not want. That's when he makes you lie down in green pastures. Wanting nothing keeps you quiet, peaceful and happy. You won't need to prove anything. You become patient, broad-minded and tolerant of others beliefs and opinions. You don't argue but you may discuss with folks genuinely interested about what you think or have, like Jesus was. 

Mostly Listen

One secret to aging well and maturity is listening. Jesus listened well to the Father. The disciples listened well to him. Initially, they were a bunch of immatures but later, when they learned about the Holy Spirit from Jesus and obeyed, they radically transformed into mature leaders. Listen to how Jesus put it:

By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me. [John 5.30]

When James listened well to Jesus, he got this wisdom:

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, [James 1.19]

It's tragic when man has become so advanced in knowledge and technology and yet learns nothing in life, terribly lacking wisdom and maturity. Just look at wrecked marriages, broken families and so-called new thinking about how they see themselves. It's all due to immaturity, reverse aging.

...always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. 8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. 9 But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone. [2 Timothy 3]

In other words, learning but not maturing. And worse, opposing those who are mature and wise, thinking they're smarter because they're loud, and the mature and wise are idiots because they're quiet and patient. You sometimes see this even in church. Leadership has become who's louder, more assertive and self-centered. 

Use Your Most Inner Power 
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